China hosted a press conference on Wednesday to discuss the recent events in Tibet. Our old pals at the Xinhua News Agency 新华通讯社 have the report. We are quick learners, and so we propose 11 simple steps to manage an international kerfuffle, all based on the press conference:
Step 1: Reassure the masses
[Chairman of the Tibet Autonomous Region] Qiangba Puncog: Life in Lhasa has returned to normal in an orderly fashion and Potala Palace and other scenic spots have already opened to travelers.
Step 2: Claim benevolence
[Undersecretary of the United Front Department of the Central Committee of Chinese Communist Party] Si Da: There is simply no way that we can allow a societal system in which more than 95% of the people had no personal freedom to come back in Tibet.
Step 3: Tally the damage/propose a fix
The events on 3/14 caused Tibet close to 300 million yuan worth of financial losses. The government has implemented 6 great steps to resolve the troubles of the people.
Step 4: Present an imagined unified front
There were just a few that took part in the beating, smashing, ransacking, and arson. In no way do they or are they able to represent Tibet or Tibetan people.
Step 5: Talk down to the lowly people
Each of the groups [that make up the] masses in Tibet all enjoy the fruits of reform and development–They are the true beneficiaries.
Step 7: Fan the flames of nationalism
All of the people of Tibet endorse and support the passing of the olympic flame through Tibet.
Step 8: Claim universal support for the ruling body
The great majority of people [that make up the] masses along with the monks all endorse the party and socialism.
Step 9: Show your soft side
Qiangba Puncog: Meticulous preparations [are being made] for the speedy recovery of the economy. The monks of Jokhang temple have not been punished.
Step 10: Show your hard side/identify the enemy
Si Da: The fundamental reason for the failure of progress in talks is that those on the Dalai Lama side lack sincerity.
Step 11: Preempt outside media coverage
[Host of the talks] Guo Weimin: China is putting forth the greatest of effort to provide for a good environment for gathering news. We hope that the foreign press is able to report objectively.